'F' in this instance is for "Forgive" and so you need to go 'f' yourself if you are holding on to pain or hurt that you believe is self-inflicted. More often than not, our romantic relationships are the primary harbinger of this hurt and pain and self forgiveness is often more difficult to do than even forgiveness of the one that brought on this pain.
I had to learn to do this for myself when my marriage ended which I believe I've talked about before and to be honest, forgiving myself was so much more difficult than forgiving him. Prior to that relationship, none other had caused me to experience such intense levels of self loathing and self blame but what I would like to focus on today is the forgiveness of self. If you strongly believe that you knowingly walked into a bad relationship thinking that 'marriage' would somehow change the person you were with, the you need to go 'f' yourself. If you willingly ignored all of the signs that you asked God to show you before walking down the aisle with this person like I did, you need to go 'f' yourself. If you convinced yourself that you would be the one to change your partner by diminishing your own light so that theirs could shine brighter, then please more than anything you need to go 'f' yourself.
Forgiving yourself is easier said than done and I know this all too well because it took me 2 years to completely do so but once I was able to, I had a tremendous sense of a weight being lifted off me. It does you no good to keep on blaming yourself for this grave mistake you made because it changes nothing. The only this does is cause you to believe untruths about yourself and your ability to make intelligent choices where matters of the heart are concerned. I will even go as far as saying that until you forgive yourself, you can't fully forgive the other person. Knowingly walking into bad relationships is not peculiar to you, more people are guilty of this than you think but to successfully close that chapter of your life and move on, you need to go 'f' yourself.
Don't keep talking about the past, reliving it or indulging in thoughts about it. Everything we go through in life is a learning experience and a teachable moment; once the dust of the hurt finally clears, you too will see everything you learned from the situation. I know I did. Forgive yourself, forgive him or her so you can be free to live the rest of your life without the nuisance of pain holding you back.
What are your thoughts on this? Please comment below.
Always Love 💘