9 WAYS I LEARNED TO BE OKAY WITH NOT HAVING IT ALL TOGETHER/ TOPE AKWADA/ 20 JUNE


I'm almost 40! To me, that's a big deal! But have I got all my ducks in a row? By no means. Is that also a big deal? Not anymore. How did I become okay with not having 'it' all together...at this age? That proverbial 'it' that we are all chasing daily, that only a few find but that also eludes many?

I'm more than just okay with not having it all because after years of repeating the cycle of self blame for making silly mistakes and unhealthy comparisons that left me frustrated, depressed and drained, I was finally done with the shit show.

Circumstances forced me (very unwillingly I might add) to look more internally at my personal journey and unique life story and after much ado about nothing, it would seem that looking at the glass half full rather than half empty allowed me to appreciate that story better. This isn't going to be another long boring post about counting our blessings, which is something we should always do regardless, instead it is going to be brief bullet points about how I learned to live thankfully despite my circumstances. These may be easier said than done for many but how does doing anything contrary help anyway? Every where you turn nowadays, everybody wants to be part of the 'stay woke', 'work hard', 'stay grinding' and blah-blah-blah movement which is all fine and dandy but what if all some of us really want to do (or what I really want to do for that matter) is just to woosah and not be bothered by all the need-to-do-this and have-to-do-that by the this or that age all the damn time, huh? What If?

If you would like to learn how to be okay with not having all of the things that society and your peers tell you that you ought to have at 20,30 or even 50, here's what I did that you can do also:



  • Stop listening to them (could be anybody) and start listening to you.
  • Practice more gratitude and less grumbling.
  • Quit looking at everyone else and focus on your damn self.
  • Be more than okay with the choices you have made so far, whether good or bad.
  • Recognize that monetary or financial success is not the only kind of success that there is.
  • Be happy with where you are & if others can't understand why you don't want 'more', it's not your responsibility to educate them on it.
  • Let shit go! Hanging on to grudges, expectations or disappointments will only give you wrinkles and who the heck needs wrinkles? Nobody!
  • Live for the moment but more importantly, live IN the moment. In other words, enjoy the life you are living now and quit wishing you had someone else's.
  • Accept the truth that NOBODY has it all together anyway. We are all just figuring it out as we go.
I have long accepted that I don't have it all together, maybe I never really will and for me, that's perfectly fine. Took me a good long while to get here but I'm glad I finally arrived at the station. Are you okay with not having it all together? If you aren't, why? Sharing is TEA 😉


Always Love 💘

ibogirl

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