FORMING NEW FRIENDSHIPS IN YOUR 40S/ TOPE AKWADA/ 13 JUNE
No man is an island! Isn't that the popular saying? We all need friends to laugh with, cry with, share experiences and go through things with. As teenagers, that's when we typically start making and forming friendships, then our 20s present us with friends that range from the good, the bad to the ugly.
By our 30s, we know who we want to keep in our lives and who we want to show the way out of it but how hard can it be to start forming new friendships in your 40s? Do you want to? What are you even looking for at this age in a friend that doesn't already exist in your current circle?
A lot of my friends today are friends I've had for years with some of my closest ones having been in my life well over 2 decades. These friendships are tried and true, tested and trusted and my girlfriends have become more like sisters with each friendship serving its own special function in my life. When it comes to forming any new friendships now, I'm looking specifically for more substance and less fluff. A sense of purpose, maturity and possibly someone that can teach me something new and different making me look at life in a deeper, more meaningful way. Someone who will push me to be a better version of myself, challenge me in healthy ways and encourage me to live outside my comfort zones. I'm looking for people whose life experiences have taught them something profound and caused them to have a new appreciation for living. Someone whose relationship with God is so uniquely their own that it inspires me to get to know my Creator more intimately. If I sound awfully picky, It's because I am, moreso now than ever before.
There must be a reason for forming new friendships in your 40s now because at this stage of life, the people you allow in need to make sense, play a role and make a difference. In this day and age of haters and hangers-on, there has never been a stronger need for a good group of friends who know you, understand you, are growing alongside you and supporting all of your goals/dreams. Picking new friends should be like picking the right school for your kids, the right doctor for your health needs or the right clothes for your changing body. And even with friends who have been in our lives for a long time, if they do not reflect any kind of growth in their own lives no matter how minimal, then friendship with them now may be a problem. Thankfully though, all my peeps are on the same page as me!
I say all this to say that forming new friendships at ANY age but especially in your 40s is not impossible; my advice is to identify where you are emotionally and mentally so you can choose your friends accordingly. Do you agree or disagree? Let's chat in the comments below..
Always Love 💘