Thursday, June 14, 2018


It's funny how we think we know everything in our 20s or how we believe we have all the answers and know exactly how our lives are going to turn out. It's not until we get into our 30s and have to start "adulting" that we begin to realize how very little we knew or frankly that we knew nothing at all. All the things that seemed so important suddenly hold little to no meaning/significance for us in our 30s. There are so many things I'm sure we all wish we knew when we were younger now that we're older and I can't help thinking that if perhaps we were aware of some of these things, we would not have wasted so much of our time on them or maybe we would have paid a bit more attention.

The realities of life become so much clearer in our 30s that sometimes we find ourselves longing for a few more moments of our 20s just to escape the truth. It is true when they say we wish we were older when we're young but then when we do get older, we wish we were young again. Life doesn't turn out exactly the way we think it will for many of us and because we couldn't have foreseen the future, we had no plan and because we had no plan, we are forced to learn as we go.

For me, I remember when I was younger, I was sure I wanted 5 children, to be a lawyer, marry a doctor and live just like the fictional "Huxtable" family but when I realized just how much pain is involved in child birth, I changed my mind FAST. Plus, after learning how Bill Cosby really was as a man (and not everyone's favourite TV dad), all my Huxtable dreams were ruined forever. My life was planned to the T: I was going to be married by 26 at the very latest to my very own prince charming, become a highly sought after corporate lawyer, have multiple sources of income that gave me wealth beyond my wildest dreams and live somewhere "boujee" in Europe (LOL....oh the dreams I had..). It didn't take long though before reality slapped me across the face and I learned that it wasn't going to happen for me quite the way I had dreamed. So if you ask me what are the things I've learned or wish someone told me in my 20s, we would be here all day but I have narrowed them down to 10 things so grab yourselves a glass of Moscato and let's get on with the lesson:

1. There IS such a thing as "Middle Age Spread". I heard my mom talk about this when I was young and thin but paid little attention. Now that I'm pushing 40, meeen, I get it and it aint pretty!

2. Being a lawyer takes YEARS! Not only would I have had to spend like 5 years in Uni, I would still have had to spend another year in law school, pass that, get called to bar and whatever else needed to happen before I would eventually be able to practice! I totally admire lawyers today but yo! aint nobody got time for 6 or 7 years of school though.

3. We are all looking for Prince Charming but not all of us will find him. Don't ask me why, they must be short staffed at the factory where they make them at.

4. You will experience loss in some way, shape or form. Don't let it define you and don't let it break you.

5. Sometimes you may have to start all over again and that's okay. Just remember to bring a hammer and nails the 2nd time around because there are some doors you want to make sure you never open again. Nail that bitch shut!

6. If there is something you are passionate about or super talented at doing, start early and don't wait. I could have built a whole frigging empire by now but I was pre-occupied with other meaningless nonsense and now I'm here writing a bunch of shoulda-coulda-wouldas..LOL

7. If you get married but end up divorced for whatever reason, shake that shit off and keep it moving. It happens and it's not the end of the world.

8. Have fun in your 20s but don't get carried away. There IS life after 20 and it's called Reality Check.

9. Do the right thing even if its the unpopular thing and if the people in your circle don't support you, then they have no business being in your circle in the first place.

10. YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING IN YOUR 20S so don't assume that you do.

I know that for some of us, we had to grow up fast in our 20s and had to learn all these things and more earlier than  most but the good news is that you learned quicker than the rest of us and so now you know better. Our 20s should be fun but we should learn along the way at the same time otherwise our 30s will expose us to truths  we may not be able to handle if we are ill prepared or choose to forget that our 20s won't last forever.

What are some things you have learned now in your 30s that you wish you had known earlier? I'm interested to hear.

Thanks for stopping by today guys and see you on the weekend.

Love Always


  1. Well I'm not in my 30s but I guess one never stops learning in this life. I know more in my 20s than I knew in my teens, and I bet one in their 50s knows more than they knew in their 40s. You live and you learn they say. Thank you for this piece as I'm still trying to get a hang of this "adulting" of a thing.

    1. With each decade, you learn things you never knew about in the decade before so you are correct to say people in their 50s knew more than they did in their 40s. The goal is to take all the knowledge you have acquired to live a life you are proud of and pass that on to others. Thank you for your comment...

  2. This is so very apt! Now in my 30s, I've learned more than anything that my locus of control is mostly internal. In other words, if I need something done, I have to get off my keister and get. it. done!
    Thank you for sharing.

    1. I couldn't have said it better Sandra. Things don't happen because we want them to or wish they would, they happen because we make them happen. Thank you for this..