Many years ago before moving to the U.S was even a thought for me, I tried my hands at being an enterpreneur a few times and failed at every single attempt. At first I tried making my own custom shirts, then I started a hostessing business, then buying and selling of clothes before trying to design custom gift baskets for any and every event. In the beginning I would be so pumped and excited by a new venture, lunge forward with full steam ahead for the first month or two before I crashed and burned. I learned a very valuable lesson from all those failed attempts at being a 'boss lady' and it was that I just didn't have the patience or attention span at the time to be a business woman. It was almost like I was interested in something new every 6 months and when one thing didn't work out as planned, I dropped it and swiftly moved on to something else. I wanted to be in fashion, then I wanted to be an event planner, then a makeup artist, it was never ending. It wasn't until recently that I discovered all I wanted to do and all I've really ever loved was to write. I used to write poetry, I journal all the time and even wrote a short play once but never did anything with it so small wonder that when the time was right and I finally got my head straight enough to focus, blogging just came naturally for me.
Life is an endless teacher and coach, it will allow you fail, fall, hurt, lose, win, love, hate all in a bid to teach you. There is a saying in Nigeria (in one of the local languages) that translates as ' a child who refuses to learn at home will be taught by the world' and no truer words have been said than this because growing up we think we know everything and we have it all figured out until we very quckly realize that we don't. I thought for sure I was going to study law in Uni but ended up reading English instead, I thought I would end up marrying my very first boyfriend but that didn't happen. I thought I wanted 5 kids, to marry a doctor and have a family like the Huxtables but no-one told me to adjust that thought process later and then I thought I would be married by 27, have 2 kids and live happily ever after but instead I got married at 35, was separated at 36 and got divorced at 37 with no kids.
Life has coached me through every single experience I have had with the sole purpose of helping me learn a lesson which many times I either didn't learn or refused to learn then I found a quote on Pinterest that resonated with me and it says ' the pain will leave once it has finished teaching you'. It may have taken me all of my 38 years but I finally learned the lesson life had been trying to teach me. Nobody likes to feel pain, whether physical or emotional and though sometimes the pain may be self inflicted, it always teaches some kind of lesson. Seeing the lesson is often the challenge because we are mostly only always focused on the discomfort from the pain but pain is the body/mind's way of telling us that something is wrong and that a change needs to happen. When we address the source of the pain, we address the problem and by addressing the problem, we are actually learning something valuable.
Throughout the course of our lives, we will have assistant coaches help us through its different stages and our parents are the first set of coaches we get, then our teachers, employers, friends, partners and even children. Some of us perhaps have been coached harsher than others but the goal is not to measure anyone else's journey by our own. All that life has been trying to teach me in a nutshell is patience. Every time I've rushed into something or made a hasty decision, I've suffered for it so now I'm trying to be more conscious about every step I take and to take my time with things. It hasn't always been an easy thing to do but whenever I've moved at a much slower, deliberate pace, I have seen actual progress and growth. Some of the major life lessons I have learned and you may also have learned if you have been paying enough attention are:
1. Being consistent with my small daily habits have been more important and proven more fulfilling than any of those big accomplishments that are not as frequent or are few and far between.
2. The people I choose to surround myself with tell me a lot about who I am as a person. I have learned to opt for quality over quantity and prefer to be in the company of confident, happy, self aware, God oriented, hard working and focused people.
3. I keep growing, changing and evolving. Where I am today may not be where I will be a year from now. Fundamentally, I am still the same person at my core but my circumstances are subject to change and that's perfectly fine. If I don't like where I am today, I am at liberty to change it and so are you. In other words, embrace change.
4. I have learned to enjoy my life's journey. It hasn't always been a pleasant ride but that's just it- it's not supposed to be.
5. Patience is everything. Learn that and you will probably have learned the most valuable lesson of all.
What has been your biggest learning moment from life? Do you agree that life is the best coach? Leave a comment and we can talk.