Thursday, September 26, 2019


Almost everyone, if not all of us believe that we have 'haters' gathered somewhere just pissed off by everything we say and do.

These haters are the social media trolls, the fake friends and pretend well wishers whose mission it is to laugh at our misfortunes, criticize any effort we make at success and tear us down at the slightest opportunity. Haters can be a sure distraction from our goals if we allow their negativity get to our hearts; if we break every time someone says something hurtful, then someone needs to show us how to turn our haters and the negative vibes they bring from detractors to motivators.

Clearly, a hater's primary aim is to distract, destroy, to bully into submission or retreat. Throughout our lifetime, we will more than likely come across a few negative nancys on the road to accomplishing goals and dreams but in order to avoid being stopped in our tracks every time someone leaves a nasty comment or harsh criticism, we must learn to use their fire as fuel. Do haters freeze you or fuel you? Do they distract you or drive you? Are you offended each time you come across one?

A lot of the time these haters are nameless and faceless people hiding behind keyboards and emojis. They claim they can't stand you, yet they follow your every move. They swear to know damaging truths or facts about you, yet these turn out to be baseless and untrue. They are often rude, crass and extremely disrespectful in their judgement or critique of you. So do you retreat into a corner whenever they rear their ugly heads?

Even more sad is that sometimes these haters are not the stranger we don't know but the bosom friend in our circle who will feign being happy for your wins or find some way to make your successes about their failures. They smile in our faces but tear us down when we are not in the room. Truth be told, everyone is not going to like you all of the time and your job is not to make them fond of you. Your job is to take their hate and use it as motivation so the best way to turn your haters from detractors to motivators is to USE them.

  • Use them as a way to evaluate yourself - let their criticisms cause you to look at yourself and improve wherever you need to
  • Use them to learn how to ignore negativity - not every comment requires a response or reaction from you so learn to ignore them
  • Use them to motivate you to keep succeeding - remind yourself that success is usually always the best and sweetest form of revenge
  • Use them to remind yourself that you must be doing something right for them to keep taking notice
  • Use them to teach yourself how to be a better communicator and an overall better person - if you must respond to their negative comments, do so with maturity and kindness

It may seem odd to use 'hater' and 'motivation' in the same sentence and it is even stranger to suggest that something positive can come from something meant to be and elicit negative emotions but it can be done.

I'm not of the opinion that using haters as fuel for your will to succeed means that you value their opinion of you because nobody, I believe, goes around looking for haters to validate them. If they happen to show up en route to your goals, then absolutely use their stumbling blocks as stepping stones. Use their fiery flames as gasoline to propel yourself further. If they wanna hate then let them hate.....

Do you share the same sentiment about haters? How do you use your haters? Are they distractions or do you turn them to your motivation? Let's talk in the comments.

Always Love 💕


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