HOW TO STAY UNBROKEN EVEN WHEN YOU ARE DAMAGED/ TOPE AKWADA/ 21 NOVEMBER
TRAUMA- It's one of those things that happen to all of us at one point or another. How we deal with it determines whether we are able to stay unbroken even though we may be damaged from it.
Resilience comes naturally to some but others have to work a little harder to achieve that same level of strength required to keep on going and not give up when overwhelmed by emotions from traumatic experiences. When trauma happens, it can be damaging to one's self esteem, sense of personal pride or confidence and this causes ripple effects to their overall outlook on life. The good news is that even if you are damaged, there is hope for recovery but when your spirit is broken, this is so much harder to overcome.
Reaching this point of brokenness suggests that you have completely given up and lost all hope of things ever getting better. Depression may set in and if one is not careful, suicidal thoughts begin to creep into the heart and mind. This was the point I was almost coming to when it became evident that my marriage had become toxic and then losing my only brother in the midst of that struggle was almost too much for me to bear. Little by little, I started nursing ideas of 'ending it all' because I believed it was the only way to truly be free of the pain I was in.
Life knocks us all down and we each have the power to take back control when it happens. All it takes is a deliberate effort to move forward with purpose. It is eventually what I had to do. When life hits you with the 1-2 punch, here's how you comeback:
Tell Your Story then Rewrite Your Story
Be honest about your past and the pain you went through then turn that pain on its head and let it be the catalyst for the passion to move forward in a new direction filled with growth, understanding and opportunity.
Invest In The Process & Not The Outcome Of Change
Staying stuck in your pain is one thing but believing that you can only be happy again if xyz happened is completely different and a false truth we often tell ourselves. Allow yourself enjoy the process of change that involves making you a better version of yourself.
Set Boundaries & Enforce Them
Repel any and every form of toxicity in whatever manner it presents itself. People, habits, lifestyles or thoughts that can break you need to be done away with otherwise you will end up more damaged and broken than you were before.
Walk Away & Say No
Regain control of your life with these 2 crucial actions. It can be hard for sure especially if it means walking away from or saying no to something that has become familiar. Doing so however gives you the opportunity to start all over the way you have always wanted to. Again, this is something I had to do for myself.
I knew I was damaged from my traumatic experiences... first from being raped long ago and then more recently from marital woes and grief. I danced many times with allowing everything that had happened to me leave me broken but it has taken all of my willpower and the grace of God to get where I am in this moment where my joy is full. I had to convince myself that my desire to thrive again far outweighed the ease it took to stay damaged and eventually broken.
This is what you should tell yourself if you are struggling. It will not be easy by any means but once you make the decision to release the damage and finally let those scars start to heal, you will never ever be broken.
Always Love 💕