Divorces can be messy not to mention emotionally draining and men/women often find it hard to get back into dating after a marriage comes to an end. They do not know when it's okay to start dating again and not too long ago, I was one of those who had no clue when it was the right time to get back into it.
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No matter how long a relationship/marriage may have lasted, starting something new with someone new can be scary and awkward. Plus it's never a good idea to rush into a new relationship without first being completely healed from the previous one.
So how do you know if you are ready for love again? When is it time to open yourself up to the idea of a new beginning? I struggled with what the right answer to these questions were for a number of reasons. I mean, was I ready to be in a relationship again? What was I even looking for and who was to say that if I found someone new, I would not sabotage it with unresolved issues and baggage from my previous relationship even though 3 years had gone by before meeting my now boo? But now that we have been dating for almost a year, here's what I know for sure:
First things first, you may need to accept that things have changed when it comes to the way folks meet these days. Prior to meeting my partner, the idea of online dating had never been a thought in my mind but I quickly realized that this was an effective way to meet new and interesting people from different backgrounds and walks of life. In my opinion, online dating eliminated the awkwardness of talking to someone new for the first time. Those initial conversations were easier to have and cut off if I decided there was no connection or chemistry.
It is okay to start dating again after a divorce once you ascertain that the grieving/mourning process for the past relationship is over. When you are yet to heal from a breakup or divorce, the pain can still feel fresh even if things have been over for a while. You will always make comparisons to your ex if you do not allow yourself adequate time to get over a breakup before venturing into new romance. Only you can tell when you feel ready to try again so there is no need to rush the process.
Making things clear from jump street what expectations you have once you and a potential new boo have decided to take things to the next level is a good indicator that you are ready to date again. It is important to be clear and upfront but also realistic about what you want from the relationship especially if you are/are not ready for labels or something serious just yet. Loyalty, honesty and respect are good places to start but you must be ready to give it if you expect to receive it in return.
Be honest with yourself about how really ready you are for something new but more importantly, allow yourself be open to the possibilities. Leave the baggage of the past there (in the past) but love yourself enough to know what you deserve now. Refuse to be that broken person who feels unworthy of love and happiness, remind yourself that you are gold and indeed anyone would be lucky to have you.
It's what I did😉
Always Love 💓