Thursday, March 12, 2020


The challenge of overcoming the fear of failing in a new relationship can be tough and in many cases seen almost insurmountable. It is normal to have fears when dating a new man but fir many, the source of this fear stems from past failed relationships from which they are yet to fully heal.

                                   Related: When Is It Okay To Start Dating Again After A Divorce?

When this is identified, you may go into a new romantic relationship believing that it won't last or that you aren't worthy of love. So how then do you date a new man without allowing this fear of failure sabotage the relationship? My 5 tips below could maybe be of help:

1. You must first accept that love itself is a risk - In love, there are no guarantees so just enjoy and live in the moment of your new love. Challenge those thoughts you have that may threaten the relationship's success by declaring that you are worthy of love regardless of how many failed relationships you may have had in the past.

2. Allow for mistakes from both you and your new partner -  No one is perfect remember that! yet as simple as this piece of advice may sound, its usually not an easy one to follow when you are in constant fear of failing at this new relationship. I know I'm guilty of this but I remind myself that our small issues do not necessarily mean that the relationship is doomed to fail.

3. Change your perspective - There is no 'one size fits all' type of love for all relationships. Dating a new man takes time to learn about what works and what doesn't for your relationship so change your perspective on how you think a functional relationship works or should work. Deviate from thoughts that suggest that your new relationship is over because there are minor misunderstandings that happen in all healthy relationships.

4. Be open & vulnerable - Allow yourself be open to your new love by breaking your old patterns of not being vulnerable. Date with more flexibility and avoid making those hard and fast rules about relationships because the truth is that your handsome new man is also more than likely facing the same fears of failure in his relationship with you.

5. Talk through your fear(s) with your partner -  This is important to do but more important is not to dwell so heavily on these 'fear talks' to the point where it becomes draining for both of you. Keep such discussions at a reasonable time limit, just to create an atmosphere of understanding and awareness of what these fears may look like when they start to manifest themselves. Support each-other to move on and enjoy your relationship once these fears have been named and heard.

Love or dating a new man does not automatically transform fear into magical unicorns and fairies of perfection or endless heart emojis but when you accept that it is part and parcel of any new relationship, it is no longer the enemy you feel is bent on destroying what you are trying to build. Rather, you see it as something that will need your attention once in a while.

Did you find this post helpful? Share your thoughts in the comments..

Always Love 💓


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