Thursday, April 9, 2020


I'm sure you all are just about fed up with this whole pandemic that has held the entire world hostage for what seems like forever now. We are more than ready to get back to our normal lives and I'm right there with you in that I would like to very much return to writing about non-corona virus related content.

                 Related: How I'm Keeping Bae Motivated In These Days Of Social Distancing

One thing I will say though is that couples, married or dating, during this period of an indefinite lockdown, have had to offer each other more support than usual. For married couples who have children, both partners need to actively help with school work, house chores and entertaining the kids all while still finding time to be there for each other's individual needs. For dating couples who are not isolating together, being supportive of each other is also so much more important now.

It's easy to point the finger or place blame on our partners when we feel like they are not being supportive of us but sometimes, we need to look at ourselves and ask whether we are being the supportive partners our other halves need. Many times, we may not even realize we are not being as supportive as we could be but here are 10 ways you can tell if you are being a supportive partner or not:

1. You listen and always give your full attention when he/she is trying to have a conversation with you. You are not distracted by your phone or the tv at this time.

2. You know when and how to give your partner a confidence boost when you know they may need it the most.

3. On the flip side, you also know when and how not to push them. You can tell when that's not what they need just by their countenance or the way they may be talking at the time.

4. You become his strength in his time of weakness or stress. You can tell when he is struggling emotionally, mentally or psychologically with something and immediately know that's not the right time to pick a fight or make something about you.

5. Their victories become your victories and so do their struggles. Even if those moments do not directly affect you or you don't understand them, you get on their same level of excitement or concern because that's just what a supportive partner does.

6. More to Point 5, when your partner is struggling with an issue, you should give that issue the same level of concern they have even when you do not personally consider it to be a big deal. However, do not allow them dwell in that negative space by knowing when and how to distract them by changing the subject.

7. You are the escape that they need from whatever is stressing them out. If what that looks like is a day at the movies, a weekend getaway or just taking a leisurely walk in the park, then take that break with them.

8. You are a safe space for your partner to share their goals, thoughts and emotions. You do not always have to be critical of their plans/goals or not acknowledge how they may be feeling simply because you do not feel the same way they do.

9.  Furthermore, you do not dismiss their feelings when they share them with you. Certainly you will not agree all the time and you do not have to but your partner should never feel like you don't care about their feelings. Even when you agree to disagree or can't relate to how they feel, you should never be the reason why they think that their feelings are not valid or that they are weak for having them.

10. Remember that you are their partner and not their parent so wanting to control every decision on their behalf is not helpful. Offering guidance when asked is okay but that should not give you liberty to overstep.

This list is by no means exhaustive but it's a good place to start when trying to figure out if you are a supportive partner. Support should go both ways and offering your support is a big part of being a good partner. When you know what your partner needs in order to feel supported by you, offer it to them and by doing so, you give your relationship the chance to thrive.

Always Love 💓


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