Unlike Eddie Murphy's character Hakeem in the now famous 'Coming To America movie, I didn't come to the United States to find "my bride". That would just be plain weird but in a way, it was marriage that brought me here albeit a failed one.
There is a line in the movie where Hakeem says "I came to America to find my bride, I came to Queens to find you" when he was trying to appeal to Lisa to for getting the wrong impression of him as a result of what his father told her. I came here in December of 2016 after my marriage of just one year ended. I moved in with my older sister and began the painstaking task of rebuilding my life. I came to America to rebuild and came to Texas to find ME. It was not an easy thing to do and it felt next to impossible on many days to not feel like an absolute failure, disappointment in myself and choices, angry and bitter. I resorted to the one thing I knew how to do well that had always helped me in the past to gaining perspective on my circumstances and that was journaling.
Every feeling, every thought and every emotion I wrote down. At first everything sounded negative but I began challenging myself to start focusing on starting over. I trained my mind into believing that this was a fresh start for me and it was a chance to live life on my own terms but this time with God at the helm of affairs. I knew I needed motivation and so I borrowed some books from my sister's library and the first one I read was by Joel Osteen called "Your Best Life Now"
I started to realize that this phase of my life was a gift. One that I probably did not deserve but was given to me anyway and I was determined not to waste it. The healing process began and although in between, my loved ones tried to get me to date again, I knew I wasn't ready. Instead I was focused on discovering my creative side and diving deeper into it. My blog was born and YouTube followed shortly after.
Writing and talking about my pain, hopes and goals in a way I continue to pray will resonate is what keeps driving me. I know now that a lifestyle that brings out only the best versions of me is all I care about pursuing and nurturing.
I found a church I love and began attending often, started dating again finally last year and now I'm on a beautiful journey that continues to fulfill me every day with every new thing I discover about myself. My Coming To America was unlike anything I could have pre-planned yet here I am, determined to keep rising and doing better. When life gives you lemons, you make bomb ass lemonade and keep it pushing.
I may be starting again but this time it's not from scratch, It's from experience. I know better so I'm going to do better so help me God and that's that on that!!
Just thought I'd share my story because I'm running out of ideas for blog posts and my brain is just about fried at this point😒😒. Will be taking a 2 month break by the end of the month so I'm sure that will help some.
Hope ya'll are doing well, keeping safe and not going crazy yet!!
Always Love 💓
ibogirl
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