Saturday, August 8, 2020

GET TO KNOW ME

 

The inspiration for today's post actually came after I said a brief prayer for wisdom on what it was that I wanted to write. I'm making an effort to remember to say a little prayer right before I begin to draft a blog post just so that my words connect and hopefully resonate positively with whoever comes across them.At first,  I was going to keep this 'Get To Know Me' write up very surface level but I feel like delving a little deeper with it would make for a more interesting read. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about '26 Questions To Help You Know Yourself  Better' and I wasn't kidding when I said I was on a quest to seek some better self understanding. A couple of the questions I asked in that post I will be answering today and that will hopefully give you an idea about who I am, how I think and what I feel about myself. Then maybe, just maybe it can inspire or motivate you to honestly give yourself the same assessment in the hopes of understanding what makes you the way you are. Here goes:
For a long time, I identified myself purely by career achievements,financial capability and independence. I had all these going for myself in my 20s and felt very fulfilled. When I hit my 30s, things started to change and before I knew it I lost 'all the things' that I identified with being who I was. I have struggled with my identity since then and 2020 has only re-inforced how confused I've been about who I am. I am trying daily to figure ME out outside of possessions, status and position.
Like most women, I'm very hard on myself and so very often I'm my biggest critic. I feel like I'm okay/good at doing a lot of things but because I've not applied myself enough to one or two of those things, then I believe that I'm just no good at all. I ask myself why I have not applied myself and I've come up with many answers some of which are no fault of mine but others are of my own doing. I beat myself up everyday but I'm a work in progress.
I consider myself a great 'worrier' by nature. Not exactly sure why that is or where it stems from but I worry a lot. I worry about myself and future, I worry about other people, I worry about big and little things, I worry about surface level stuff as well as the deep stuff. I realize that's a lot of worrying for one person to take on so I try not to do it so much.
Sensitive, A Thinker, Self Aware & Rational. I wish I could use words like confident. a go getter, brave or self assured but the truth is those are qualities I'm still working on.I did this post because I wanted to point out that just because someone may be older or portray a certain lifestyle does not mean they have it all together. The message today is that it's ok to know how others see you but its more important to know how you see yourself. Be gentle with yourself because darling, you are doing the best you can. The things that you may struggle with do not make you weak but strong and even when you feel like nobody's watching, someone is. So did you get to know me a little? I hope you did but more than that, I hope these questions helped you get to know you too.xxxIbogirl

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