Turning 40 is a major milestone.Very different from turning 21 or 30 where you finally feel like and actually start adulting, 40 is the landmark age that 'should' denote having all your ducks in a row. Realistically though, we know that's not always the case for everyone especially in today's political, economic and social climate.
Nevertheless, turning 40 means we have done a lot of learning, re-learning and unlearning, growing, developing and changing. What have we learned during these first 40 years that we can take into the next? Here are 3 life skills to have by 40 that I've personally found to be most helpful on my own journey to the milestone age.
LIFE SKILL 1: THE ABILITY TO START & CARRY CONVERSATIONS
When you're young you aren't much interested in having those serious or heavy conversations about life or religion or why Nigerian jollof rice is better than Ghana jollof 😁. I'm kidding but I'm sure you get the point I'm trying to make. It becomes important to have perspective and a point of view on relevant issues even if these are conversations you do not like, find awkward or want to have. Ask questions to gain clarity, argue without being insulting, listen to understand and learn how to agree to disagree with ease. This life skill is so important in today's world where these uncomfortable conversations are being had every other day and sooner or later, you will be having them too if you have not already and being able to state your position clearly is crucial. More important though is being open to listening to other points of view without making things personal.
2. LIFE SKILL II: CONTROLLING YOUR TEMPER & KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY
This would have been almost impossible to do for many in their 20s. Patience or the ability to control one's temper and just walking away from an argument or volatile situation is something many of us either could not do or faked doing to avoid ending up on the Most Wanted List. The important aspect of learning how to control your temper is understanding what might be a possible trigger and walking away before things get wildly out of your control. The need for this life skill can not be over-emphasized because I think we all know of someone who paid or is still paying the price for their inability to control their rage.
3. LIFE SKILL III: SAYING NO TO THINGS & PEOPLE
Time is so precious! more so now than ever before and a commodity we have less and less of as we age. The ability to say NO to things and people is a life skill worth having and I say this because there are just some things you can never get back once they are gone if you had only said NO. Things like one's health, virtue and even one's life once gone can never be gotten back. It's fine for people to ask or offer and sometimes it is with the best of intentions that they do but it is also fine for you to simply just turn those things down. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself so say NO when you need to.
Not all of us want to readily admit that we are grown up and getting older every day but if you are in your 40s or quickly approaching the age, then like it or not, you are. All you need to do is look around to see the children you've birthed, the bills piling on your desk, the ache in your back and the fat around you waistline to remind you of that. Having said that, NEVER despise growing older and never underestimate the value of having the necessary life skills that help you navigate your 40s and latter years with peace.
xxx
Ibogirl
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