Whenever we hear the word 'abandonment' we automatically assume the worst and for the most part, that's what abandonment feels like. It is the discontinuation of any further interest in a person which could be for any number of reasons or as I'm about to show, no reason at all; none that you know of anyway.
It has been my experience that abandonment by a significant other or potential boo presents itself in sometimes subtle and not so subtle ways. It's not always the dramatic physical exit of a partner but rather the sudden halt of attention and interest that tends to hurt the most. In my dating experiences, I've had to over time learn how to handle emotional abandonment in romantic or potential romantic relationships for my own sanity and peace of mind otherwise these men would have us all out here looking crazy ya know? The abandonment in my case has looked something like this and perhaps you can also relate to one or two yourselves:
- Abandonment for the sake of personal comfort - a guy has abandoned his commitment to me in the past for the sake of his personal comfort and comfort zones which he believed were being threatened. How do I know this? Dates were rescheduled, calls and texts would go unanswered for reasons such as sleep, the summer heat and even a football game.
- Abandonment for the sake of friends/other women - I've had an ex who emotionally abandoned me on multiple occasions to hang out with his friends and to have the opportunity to flirt with other women. I never had his attention long enough without it being disrupted for boys night out or some social gathering where significant others were not invited 😏.
- Abandonment for the sake of work and making money: This kind of abandonment can be excused but when very little to zero time is set aside for my emotional needs in the relationship, then it becomes a problem. This particular partner could never understand my position and always felt like I should simply appreciate and accept the skeletal/epileptic time he set aside for me.
- Abandonment for unknown reasons - This is the worst kind in my opinion because you just don't know or understand why there is a sudden discontinuation of attention or interest. In today's modern language, this is also known as 'ghosting'.