WHAT YOU REALLY DISCOVER WHEN YOU PRAY FOR A SPOUSE! IT'S MORE ABOUT YOU & LESS ABOUT THEM
I always find it fascinating how God will use our prayers of petition to reveal something about ourselves or our relationship with Him and not surprisingly praying for a husband or wife is no different. What you really discover when you pray for a spouse is that it's more about you and less about them.
Away from the narrative of this generation that tells women they don't need men, many of God's beautiful daughters are in fact lonely and seeking the companionship of Godly spouses. Unfortunately because of this honest desire to be in kingdom marriages with good men, the enemy has found ways to pervert this need and make it something to be ashamed of admitting out loud. It is therefore as a result of the world's shame combating against our heart's desire that we take our requests to the One who never shames us but wants us to come to Him with everything (See Philippians 4: 6).
In their most honest and rawest form, our prayers for a spouse become a teaching moment that God uses to first and foremost prepare us to be the wives to the husbands that we pray for before placing us in the path of those husbands to find us.
YouTube is full of video testimonies from women about how God showed them their husbands and how they married within months. Many women watch these videos and only hear the parts that seem to suggest that a mate magically appears once you write a list, pray about it and walk away from it without recognizing that there's so much more to it than just that. Our biblical references have become the stories of Ruth and Esther waiting for our modern day Boaz and Ahasuerus while failing to understand that these women embodied characteristic traits that positioned them to be found by these men.
Without making this a super lengthy post, the above women understood the concepts of honor, virtue, hard work, obedience, prayer and favor which was part of their positioning process. Are you the kind of woman the husband you are praying for would want to marry? While you are in your waiting season, are there areas in your life that need work? Is God trying to teach you patience, humility, submission, wisdom, honor or integrity with your job, friendships or family relationships?
I see a lot of women settling for less than they deserve, chasing men when they are the ones to be chased, forcing relationships that they should not be in and on and on and we do this because the enemy wants us to believe so many lies about ourselves. We are too old, not good enough, have nothing to offer, not beautiful enough etc when the truth is that you will be perfect to the man God has prepared for you. So as women our prayers should not stop at asking for a godly spouse but to make us godly wives ourselves, to prepare us in every way to be this man's helper spiritually and emotionally. We should pray that our assignments as children of God align and do not contradict each-other, that no strongholds over us will cause us to be rejected or overlooked and that when we do meet the man God has intended for us, he will know us because we have allowed God do what was needed to prepare us.
A husband can not find you when you are scared to admit to the world that you want one. Neither will your marriage succeed (even if it is to a godly man/woman) if you fail to understand the true purpose of the institution and what role you must play within it. May the Holy Spirit open the eyes of our understanding. AMEN!
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