Thursday, May 13, 2021



This 2017 eight part series is another enlightening teaching from Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church that I just got through watching and highly recommend that you do as well. It is aptly titled Relationship Goals and Pastor Todd really breaks down relationships from a God perspective using very clear and modern illustrations/language that all of us can understand for our current and future relationships.

My goal with this post is to summarize all 8 parts of the teaching with the same clarity and pointedness as the Holy Spirit grants me ability. As humans, we were created to exist within relationships because we all know of the scripture that sees God confirm that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). It is obvious through this scripture that God wants relationship for us but relationships where the purpose is not known, opens the door to the enemy. One way to tell if a relationship is of God is if it is helping you whether they be friendships, marriages or business relationships.

 What God Desires To Give Man Before A Person (Relationship): Genesis 2: 15-18

  • A Place - where God wants to bless you
  • A Purpose - what you are meant to do where God has placed you
  • Provision - God wants to supply you with all you need for where He has called you
  • Identity - God wants you to know who and whose you are and who you were created to be
  • Parameters - God wants to help you establish standards and boundaries for your life
God has to be enough for us so that when the lies and attacks of the enemy come trying to deceive you into believing things about yourself that God has not said of you, they will not stick!

Single But Not Alone - Matthew 22: 36-39

The formula for being able to love yourself in singleness is LOVE GOD - LOVE YOURSELF - LOVE OTHERS. You can't figure out how to love others until you can love yourself first so the question to ask yourself if you are in your single season is  whether you love yourself.

Important Points To Consider:

1. It's more important to be single than to be married -  this is when God prepares you and equips you
2. Your marriage is only as good as your singleness - the foundation of who you are as a single person is the same person you carry into your marriage
3. Marriage doesn't improve your singleness, it exposes it - whatever you are able to hide in your singleness will be exposed in marriage so be self aware and find out who you are while single
4. It is okay to be single but not alone - singleness denotes wholeness and completeness but if you believe that singleness is equal to being alone then the enemy will continue to distract you with the wrong relationships
5. Maximize your singleness - this is your season alone with God so make the most of it.

The Myth Of Dating:

There is a progression when it comes to relationships and while we all know that many do not follow this system, it accounts for a lot of the struggles and challenges that are experienced. This ought to be a relationship's natural progression:

Intentional Dating

Dating is the transportation that takes us to  marriage and it is while on this transportation that we can determine whether we want to get to the marriage stage or get off the ride at some point before getting to that destination. The 4 Myths Of Dating are:

1. Dating is biblical
2. Dating is wrong
3. Dating is a destination
4. Dating is harmless
For the meat and potatoes of these myths, again I highly recommend watching Relationship Goals on YouTube, it is the 3rd part of the series.

The Major Keys To Marriage:

1. God needs to be the cornerstone of every marriage. It can't just be between 2 people

2. Know the difference between what your spouse needs and wants - men and women need different things. Men need honor and respect, support and sex while women need security, affection and communication.

3. Communication is crucial -  speak your partner's love language because your words are either building up the person you want to be married to or tearing down the person you have to be married to.

4. Cut out unspoken expectations - speak what you expect so you don't set yourselves up to fail

5. Never pause on pursuit - continue pursuing your spouse even in marriage. The finish line is 'till death do us part'.

Sex Container: 

Sex was originally God's idea (See Genesis 1: 28) and the act of sex means to be joined spiritually through covenant, emotionally through intimacy and physically through the act itself. This means that every time you have sex with someone without the covenant because marriage in the context of the bible is not the wedding process but when sex is involved. Sex has been perverted by the enemy to keep us from being fruitful in the way God intended for us to be by introducing counterfeit experiences like abuse, rape, incest, homosexuality, fornication etc.

Marriage is therefore the container for sex because unlike food that we can use to feed our stomachs when we are hungry, we can not feed our sexual urges with sexual immorality when we are still single. (1 Corinthians 6:9-13) Our bodies were made for God and within marriage, sex is an act of worship to God.

Many of us, myself included are guilty of giving our bodies to boyfriends, potential partners and even the ones we call 'friends with benefits' and that is something that needs to stop because we carry God on the inside of us as Christians. Every time we lay down with someone who is not our spouse, we are grieving His Spirit because He is right there with us. Moreso, we are exposing ourselves to unknown spirits and possible generational curses that these individuals may carry. I pray God helps us break away from these relations and situations that are unhealthy and not blessing us in any way.

I know this was a lengthy post today but I pray that the Holy Spirit convicts even just one of us to take a step back and re-evaluate the relationships we expose ourselves to.

Excess Love,


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