Thursday, November 11, 2021



My perception about relationships today is that women are starting to feel undervalued and unprotected by our men. This has led to many lashing out in ways that aim to make us more independent of men, disrupting the intended order established by God.

It was not good for man to be alone and so God created woman to be his helper suitable. To have dominion together on earth as ONE UNIT not separated (see Genesis 2:18 and Genesis 1: 28). Satan hates relationship because he is aware of the power and presence of God it carries. Have you ever wondered why it was only after God created the woman (to exist in relationship with man) that the enemy showed up? It makes sense that he comes to destroy everything God has freely given us to have dominion on the earth and relationship/marriage is one of those things he seeks to destroy.

Another question that has been posed is where Adam was when the woman God gave him was being tempted away from her purpose and obedience in the garden of Eden? Why did he not speak up and protect her from the enemy? Was he somewhere else doing something? Was he asleep? The Bible does not say but one can infer that he had a responsibility to protect and cover her as his helper. Remember that after they had both disobeyed, God called on the man and not the woman because it was he that was given the command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3: 9-11). We will come back to this in a second but let's back up a bit.

After God had created the woman from the rib of Adam, it was Adam and not God who called her woman (Genesis 2:23) and subsequently Eve (Genesis 3:20). If it is not already clear, Adam's role in the life of his ezer is to call forth who she is. In other words, to speak OUT OF HER what God placed IN HER. Adam aka Man's role is to be the head, to love his wife like Christ loved the Church. I'm inclined to believe that it was because Adam did not play his God given role that led to The Fall that caused God to pass judgement on us ( both man and woman). Yes He addressed the serpent first, then the woman because she was meant to help Adam and keep him on the path God had set for him and not to distract him like she ended up doing but it was to the man, God passed the most judgement on (Genesis 3: 17-19).

If God created woman for man because He saw that it was not good for man to be alone and left her in his care, does it not then follow that man was responsible for her? To show her all that God had entrusted to him to enjoy and have dominion over them with him? He at some point obviously told her about the tree that God had commanded them not to eat of because we see it in her response to the serpent when he comes to deceive her but where did Adam then go when this life altering exchange between his ezer and the serpent was taking place? 

When a man becomes too busy with everything but the one other human that God entrusted in his care, it leaves room for the enemy to strike because his helper suitable aka his wife is left exposed and uncovered. The Bible tells us that "a wife's covering is her husband" (Corinthians 11:3). God's original idea for marriage between a man and a woman was to serve each other (in covering) and to be the representation of His pure love for us (aka the Church) on earth. This is the ultimate relationship goal!

The enemy has made it so that men and women do not desire marriage any longer and that even if/when we do, it would not be for the purpose that God intended it. A woman's role in the life of her husband is to be his spiritual covering while Adam's role in the life of his Ezer is to be her physical covering. We have allowed culture and the world dictate/determine how we view marriage today. We are quick to get offended or 'triggered' by words that God never spoke, making up our own rules for marriage, going into it blindly and with divorce as an option when things stop going the way we like. I have been guilty of all the above which is one major reason why my first marriage failed. I have never acknowledged this as true until God started showing me my heart and let the Holy Spirit convict me personally. Were there many things my ex husband did wrong? Yes. But I also did many things wrong as well.

So to sum up this post, both men and women have significant roles to play in the lives of their wives and husbands. The Bible tells us that " ....a cord of 3 strands is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12) which means at the centre of every marriage, there must be God! He is the only one who can teach us how to execute these roles effectively toward each other. Next week, I would like us to dive a little into sexuality and how as women we ought to honor God with it and serve our husbands as the Scripture tells us to do. Hope you join me then.

Excess Love,


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