Thursday, November 18, 2021



DISCLAIMER: A large portion of this post is inspired by the book, Relationship Goals By Pastor Mike Todd. If you have not read this book, I encourage you to get it to understand why God should ultimately be our relationship goal because He alone can teach us the correct way to go about our earthly relationships. The book is available on Amazon HERE and if you are already in a relationship (dating, engaged or married) or perhaps hoping to be in one, I also encourage you to get THIS and THIS.

The first jarring thing Pastor Mike says in the book that's sure to ruffle the feathers of some religious folks is that "SEX IS GOOD". Sex is good because it was created by God (to be enjoyed by husband and wife in the sex container of marriage). See Genesis 1: 28. In this day and age where everyone is expressing their "sexual freedom" and using phrases like "owning my sexuality", it is almost impossible for anyone to say that sex outside marriage was/is not God's plan. I will be first in line to say that I have definitely flouted this law many times because in my 20s, you could not tell me anything different. In fact, I will be transparent with you all and say I used to have a mantra back then which was that every girl needed to have what I called the "incase of emergency, break glass guy". LOL! I laugh now but that certainly was not any way for one who called herself a Christian to think or practice. I have since repented of that mindset, surrendered my sexuality to God and I thank Him for His forgiveness.

In the chapter of the book similarly titled 'Surrendering Your Sexuality', Pastor Mike says "sex was never meant as a leisure pastime for single people; it's a pleasure and purpose connection for married couples". He goes on to say a little further that we need to 'redeem and reclaim this idea of sex' in the sense that as daughters (and sons) of God, giving ourselves to random people outside marriage in the name of expressing sexual freedom or owning our sexuality has never been God's idea but is today's cultural practice. There is a Scripture in 1 Corinthians 6:13 that says "...the body, however is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body"- NIV. I never fully understood this verse until I heard it explained that even if we say that because food is what we give to our stomach because it is hungry, we can not then use the same reasoning to say that sex is what we give to satisfy our urges because our bodies belong to God. 

As ezers, we are precious to God; spirit, soul and body but when we give away this part of ourselves to guy after guy, what we are doing is going into covenant with them and everything they carry spiritually. The only person with whom we should have that sort of covenant with on earth is our spouse. For many of us, we see sex in dating as normal and as a benefit that comes along with being in a relationship. Sex becomes casual. For others, watching pornographic content is also viewed as normal because it adds spice in the bedroom, some may even go so far as to say its healthy but the underlying consequence of taking this approach to sex becomes losing pieces of ourselves each time we engage in it with someone that we are not married to or in covenant with. I know that this is something that happened with me after living this way for a long time. By the way, I thought it was interesting to point out at this stage that Pastor Mike says the wedding is not necessarily an indication of marriage but sex is.

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit so every time we have sex outside of marriage, the Holy Spirit is there with us, being subjected to what we are doing with our bodies. When God opened my eyes to this analogy, it completely changed the way I viewed sex. Surrendering our sexuality to God is not a loss but gain. He alone can manage this for us because He created us. Romans 6:13 says  "Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead give yourselves completely to use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God".

All we have to do is surrender, God will take care of the rest. Sexual immorality destroys purpose but with God's help, our purity will restore our purpose. I know it's not an easy thing especially if this is what you have been doing for a long time. Believe me I get it but surrendering my sexuality to God was one of the best decisions I ever made. I still get tempted every once in a while but now that I know the true implications of what I'm doing when I step outside of the marriage covenant to have sex, the appeal is lost for me. God can do the same for you but He will never force you to surrender this to Him. You have to give it willingly.

Next week Thursday will be the last post for the year on the blog so I hope to see you then and chat a little bit about what's to come in 2022.

Excess Love,


No comments:

Post a Comment